As an avid (dare I say religious) watcher of Food Network it has hit me that Canada is in dire need of an interesting food star to emerge. Yes, Laura Calder and Michael Smith (both maritimers I need to add) have emerged to well respected fame and Suser Lee and Lynn Crawford have had some very high profile exposure south of the border. But, generally, the batch of current canadian TV chefs are extremely painful to watch.
Nadia G (pictured nearby) has a television show called "Bitchin' Kitchen" which is the equivalent of (quoting Seinfeld) "beating beaten with a sack of oranges". Her cheesy Brooklyn italian inflections (she's from St. Leonard, Quebec, where the italians do NOT talk like that), gratuitous over kitsched kitchen, and constant man-bashing is like watching a drunken party girl from St. Laurent street try and entertain after having too many apple-tinis and Sour Puss shooters before the cameras go on. In fact, the show has done "so well" that she's been relegated to an 11:00 PM timeslot now (mercifully) when most people would rather watch the evening news.
Chuck Hughes, the Hellman's mayonnaise guru (retired) and chef/owner of "Garde Manger" and master of putting crab meat into everything except his own ass (yes, we have him to blame for the old Time Supper Club menu as well) radiates on television the same stiff Montreal scenester charm that he exhibits in person- this not being a good thing. His show, "Chuck's Day Off" is contrived and a self-absorbed Chuck-gasm that kinda makes you wish he'd take more days off-- and not tape them. Maybe he will be off more since a drunken tirade at the last "Osheaga" music festival which he catered ended with him blowing out his leg. Perhaps it was karmic revenge for all the crabs whose legs he has disrespected in his kitchen over the years.
Roger Mooking (that French's mustard guy who slathers mustard on lamp chops and hammers bread crumbs into it) has a show called "Everyday Exotic". Here's the plot-- take anything at all, slap some papaya into it and wham-bang-boom... you have his show minus his inane dancing and mugging funny faces for the camera.
David Adjey, last and maybe least, appears often on "Restauraunt Makeover" where he rolls his eyes and moans about literally every dish he's ever been served. David "Chef to the stars" Adjey also appeared on Iron Chef America where his use of sturgeon was frequently most memorable for losing the sturgeon in his dishes (sturgeon was the secret ingredient) and you could see him fighting back the eye rolling and moans about the judge comments.
Ironically, Food Network Canada shot an episode in Mexico with a cookoff between all four of these chefs. I believe, in essence, they sent them all to Mexico hoping that they wouldn't come back but I guess even the Mexicans didn't want them.
I guess, for now, the re-runs of "Pitchin' In" with Lynn Crawford, "French Food At Home" with Laura Calder and "Chef At Home" with Michael Smith are all I have to cling to with Canadian culinary pride until someone (anyone) rises to the top of the canadian culinary media scene and gives me something that doesn't send me running for the Alka-Seltzer even on an empty stomach.
Postscript: I didn't mean to forget Bob Blumer (The Surreal Gourmet, Glutton For Punishment) - I actually like Bob. Sorry Bob.
Update: Since I wrote this, I've noticed "Bitchin' Kitchen" is off the air. All I can say is, "bitchin!".
Update #2 (March 19 2013): "Bitchin' Kitchen" is still creeping around the dial on Food Network Canada. As to whether or not it's repeats- I don't know- but at least I am not seeing advertisements for it.
No comments:
Post a Comment